February, the month of love indeed! Valentines, Galentines, Palentines– I had a good time. While 702's 1999 hit, co-produced and co-written by musical virtuoso Missy Elliott was more about finding solidarity with women who wouldn't dare break girl code, the title gave us a cultural mantra that still echos to this day. Because honestly, what is Valentines day without my girls?
Valentines Day is typically marketed towards monogamous lovers in relationships, but since it's inception in 2010, Galentines celebrations have been all the craze to get together with your girls too. Galentines Day is a fictional holiday coined by Amy Poehler’s character Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation that would fall, each year, on February 13th: Valentine’s Day-eve.
Excerpt from Something Good – Negro Kiss, 1898. The earliest on-screen depiction of Black intimacy Image: The National Library of Norway
It's the love of my girls that has chugged my business along when I needed extra hands at events. Needing a million and one photos and videos taken so I would have content to post. The referrals that have moms, sisters, and cousins states apart wearing B. Marie. It's the reassurance when I question my own ambitious nature– whether my standards are too high, or if I'm being unreasonable. The shoulders to lean on when I have cried over relationships that never deserved my attention in the first place and being held accountable when I'm partaking in foolishness that brings me duress or pulls me away from my best self. Facetime check-ins and casual hangs just to be present– all year round.
There's nothing I feel I cannot achieve when my girls are in my ear reminding me that my visions are worthy ambitions. They remind me that I'm human and make mistakes, but I don't have to repeat them, and I am not my worst moments. I could go on and on about the ways they have saved me, but what I am really saying is this: yes, Galentine’s Day can feel like another commercialized moment driven by commodity and consumption like many holidays observed in the U.S. But in some cases, existence paired with joy and consideration is resistance. Especially in a time when we are told we do not need each other, when women are encouraged to compete, categorize, and scrutinize instead of collaborate and care.
To be loved, chosen, and supported by brilliant women on purpose goes deeper than happy hour meetups and polished-looking photos online. It feels like extended family I'm more than happy to do life with.
February is but a reminder of how much love is already here.